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Cat Whisperhs

Written by Victoria Wong

I have been prowling with the cats of RH- eating their food and speaking their tongue- and here’s what's up with them.

Me doing investigations (Credit: BOP’s instagram)

Meow meow is increasing his protein intake;

and his protein of choice is rats. This irresponsible diner left the torn up rat to rot in between Blocks 3 and 4. Is it a strike against his kibbles or just bulking season? Either way he is anti cardio and rarely seen taking the stairs to go above level 1. Ironically, as the only cat with a name that doesn't make sense in English, Meow Meow understands English well and knows how to sit. He could possibly be taught how to act by the next AY’s RHMP.

Meow’s RHMP feature (Credit: Raffles Hall Telegram Channel)

New grey cat on the block:

And Lily’s not here to play, having chased the chicken gang and devoured their offspring. Killer kitty, expect a dwindling in cocks.

Doja in the heat:

going into guys’ rooms in Block 3, girls in Block 6 and toilets everywhere, Doja doesn't discriminate. Much like the Doja Cat he’s named after- He’s hungry not for kibbles, but nibbles. This huntress flopped-

into someone’s laundry basket for a long weekend after he snuck in through his window to ambush him, only to find him gone with no way out for 3 or 4 days. This must have been a sobering experience for Dirty Doja. Regardless, she dropped- not a new single, but his droppings all over his room. The guy was not a fan. Will Doja be cancelled? Block 6 residents are already chasing her out with insect repellent; contempt for the cats is climbing.

Dirty doja (Credits: BOP’s instagram)

Nicki minaj is seeing green but cow is seeing red:

Cow terrorises Block 2 with the RH spirit of persistence. While the new kitty herds little chickens, Cow herds little chinese girls- pouncing and charging at unsuspecting residents. Strategic, he takes his toilet breaks not in the garden around Block 2 but their stairs and rooms in order to piss as many ppl off as pawsible, maximising damage.

But befur cow went litter-ally hiss-terical, he was pawsitively beloved (i am fulfilling pp’s bad pun quota). Throwback to another Phoenix Press article dated 2020, Cow (then Cowtain for some reason) was a rescue from NUS cat cafe and had residents make him his own single room outside one of theirs. However, the residents there the next year had evicted him and demolished his residence. Cow now wages war against ,specifically, Block 2.

And this is Cow’s villain origin story.

Cow looking absolutely menacing (Credits: BOP’s Instagram)

But as of the end of 2022, Meow^2 had been cat-napped. A RHesident had been rumoring around that Meow was not being cared for (looking straight at you overfeeders…desperate for contact with any warm body) so an NUS student (non-RHesident) brought Meow to her home without informing Cat Café or anyone in RH.

You overfeeders (Credits: Mothership)

Fret not, meow is actually being cared for responsibly now, eats just as much in his new home apparently, and has vet appointments to attend now- one of which removed his mites, if you used to carry him close to your hair, you may want to book yourself an appointment too… meOW.

Meow now (Credits: Raffles Hall Telegram Channel)

Anyway if you were unaware, all these kitties are officially under the care of NUS Cat Café, the official NUS CCA taking care of campus cats, their official stance is that the best life for a community cat is to end up being adopted, and Meow's wellbeing is the utmost priority when making any decision. Hence, he will not be returning to RH.

Farewell Meow Meow (Credits: Google Images)

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